Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
