I don't remember. Are we still dating?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The best revenge is premature balding
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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