Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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