Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
