I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize