tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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