Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I hate all girls vehemently.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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