i just had sex bonerless
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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