You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
