Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
