It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
should my penis look like a turkey
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
