as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
