I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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