My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
