I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
