all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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