The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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