he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
