She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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