SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
