I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
