after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
