Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
