We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize