Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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