i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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