I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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