Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
