I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
