Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
