hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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