i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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