well I can't set my house on fire every night
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
