I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
if only i could text you this smell
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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