East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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