to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
