You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
