I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
