dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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