Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
