dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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