What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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