Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
