BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
