that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize