he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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