Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
