I like my sex mixed with concussions.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
