i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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