please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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