party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
