no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
