i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
