I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
