Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
