i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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