she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
