i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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