I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
My pussy is not your playground.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
