He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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