benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
